Contest #177 of 178, January 19, 2009

Joel's: "Gentleman, surely I don't have to remind you that under the Geneva Convention, my client has a right to cement golashes that match." "We were going to waterboard you, but now that the Administration has prohibited that technique, we're just going to throw you in the river." "Sorry, we didn't have any matching buckets lying around the warehouse. If it bothers you, we can stop by the hardware store on the way to the pier." "Next time, fellas, call me sooner if you have a problem. My son is going to throw a fit when he finds out his sand pail is missing."

First Place "It's sloppy work like that that gives the mob a bad name." Submitted by Gordon Baumbacher Kentfield, Calif. Second Place "We are trying to reduce our concrete footprint." Submitted by Tim Wilcox Miwaukee, Wis. Third Place "Two weeks ago, this was not considered torture." Submitted by Avery Clapsaddle Neche, N.D.