Contest #263 of 263, November 15, 2010

Winners:
1. "You're such a light sleeper."
2. "Now don't you wish you hadn't done so many helium shots?"

3. "You need to cut your toenails."

Joel's:
"Have you been up all night?"

Contest #259 of 263, October 18, 2010

Winners:
1. "Try honking again."
2. "This is our worst carjacking ever."
3. "A lot of pizzas are going to be free today."

 








Joel's:
"Slow down.  I think I see a cop."

"I've tried public transit, but I like the feeling of freedom I have in a car."

Contest #259 of 263, October 18, 2010

Winners:
1. Hey, at least it swims like a duck."

2. "We knew that using the sperm bank might be a gamble."

3. "Just wait until you see his wingtips."








 Joel's:
"Honey, I love him as much as you do, but he's not a swan, he's really just an ugly duckling."

Contest #255 of 263, September 20, 2010

Finalists:

1. "I gather you both feel you're being manipulated."

2. "You need an agent, not a counsellor."

3. "O.K., now do a tragedy."

Joel's:

"I think you're talking past each other."

"I have to disagree, Larry.  I do think you're being manipulative."

"You need to stay together for the children."

"Hold it.  Let's stop the finger-pointing."

"Well, you say that your sex life has become dull, but have you tried costumes or props?"