Contest #214 of 222, November 2, 2009

First Place "I'm afraid we need to make more cuts." Submitted by David Kessler, New York, N.Y.

Second Place "Please use a coaster." Submitted by James Mulcahy, Thunder Bay, Ont.

Third Place "I'm sorry I couldn't get more for you in the divorce settlement." Submitted by Rick Kaufman, Dover, N.H.

Joel's:

"John, I'm the first to admit how surprised I am, but this new proposal of yours really has legs."

"And no, this is not the first time today that I've need to use the head."

"I did warn you that you were really sticking your neck out at the meeting."

"I'd better see some results, or heads will roll.  And I don't have to tell you whose."

"They don't call me the head of this company for nothing."

"Your promotion is good news for you, Danny, but bad news for me.  You'll be in the President's office.  I'll be getting your ass."