Contest #231 of 231, March 15, 2010

First Place

"Her testosterone levels are through the roof." Doug Loynes, Dublin, Ohio

Second Place "We were as shocked as you were that you’re a donor match." Annette Gasparon, Secane, Pa.

Third Place "I'm afraid he's started refusing all conditioners." Thomas van Geel, Natick, Mass.

Joel's:

"Actually, Nurse, the patient IS out of the woods."

"True, our methods are primitive, but then, so are the patients."

"Not only is your husband going to be all right, but he will evolve too."

"Yes, the chemo does cause hair loss eventually, but you'll need to be patient."

"I'm afraid we couldn't find any hospital slippers that fit him, but he's apparently used to walking around barefoot."

"On the other hand, he's the first patient I've seen who likes the food here."

"Since he came to, all he does is grunt, but I'm not sure whether that's because of the concussion, or because of his primitive evolutionary state."

"A lot of people sent flowers, but he ate most of them."

"It's not just my first time seeing this patient; it's the first confirmed sighting period."

"Unfortunately, his condition is devolving."