1. “What makes you think we found your cat story boring?”
2. “Your availability comes off as desperation.”
3. “You don't need to whisper—they're made of wax.”
Joel's:
"I'm thinking of ordering the sconé."
"It beats small talk."
"This is SO embarassing. Sheila and I are wearing the same dress."
"I'm really just here to be seen."
"Sorry, you seem like a nice guy, but since I got Skype I don't really do in-person conversations anymore."
"What do you mean, 'Talk'?"
"I told you nobody drinks coffee anymore."
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