First Place
"Until I recover, let's just assume your prostate is fine."
Submitted by Jeff Goodman, Burnsville, N.C.
Second Place
"So a doctor walks into a bar—this is not a joke, by the way."
Submitted by James Allen, Lambertville, N.J.
Third Place
"Sorry, we're out of medical supplies."
Submitted by Christina Rodriguez, San Diego, Calif.
Joel’s:
"Actually, I've stopped checking patients' reflexes."
"Oh, I don't have any actual injuries. My partner and I just like to practice bandaging each other."
"I'll take two aspirin, and call you in the morning."
"Oh, don't mind the bandages. It's all psychosomatic."
"Why don't you want to proceed with the surgery, Mr. Wilson?"
"But enough about me. Was there anything you wanted to talk about, Barry?"
"Put the stethoscope to your chest, and tell me what you hear."
"Actually, do you mind if I sit on the table today?"
"Got a cigarette, John?"
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