Contest #194 of 196, May 25, 2009

First Place "First, we discuss my percentage of any water you find, real or imagined." Submitted by Jeff Joseph Melville, N.Y. Second Place "Just so we're straight, this is a billable mirage." Submitted by Brooks Heintzelman Wilmington, N.C. Third Place "Impressive audition, but we're going with the camel." Submitted by Benjamin Levy Palm Springs, Fla.

Joel’s:

"You look like a man who could use life insurance!"

"There's a really good mirage around the bend."

"You didn't happen to notice whether any of the other plane crash victims had compensable injuries, did you?"

"I'm here to see a guy about purchasing a horse with no name."

"I bet on your next trip, you won't get desert and dessert confused!"

"What do you mean, you're Thursday?"