“O.K., let's slowly lower in the grant money.” Submitted by Todd Bearson, Arlington, Mass. |
“The research is conclusive—mice are even cuter when you dress them up in little coats.” |
“Relax, for them it's publish and perish." |
Joel’s:
"They excelled at most of the experiments, although they all failed the restaurant check splitting exercise."
"They get cancer just like the other mice, but they’re closing in on a cure."
"Somehow, they just look dorkier than the other mice."
"I can't bear to inject them with anything. They just look so much cuter than the other rats."
"Supposedly, they're planning to build a maze for us to navigate."
"They're pretty typical in most ways, although they don't seem to reproduce."
"Sure, they're just lab rats now, but many of them had high-level positions in the FDA during the previous administration."
"Hard to believe, I know, but on the weekend, they really know how to party."
"They're pretty calm right now, but you should see how they respond to Dilbert cartoons."
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