Contest #296 of 296, August 1, 2011

Winners:

1. "You know I'll just go straight to your hips."

2. "You’re gonna be huge in this town."

3. "We're sorry about your cat, but he was eating the slower children."

Joel's:
"Call me old fashioned, but I still think the man should pick up the woman."

"Young lady, I do think a longer skirt would be more appropriate."

"Well, then, can I buy you dinner after you destroy the City?"

"May I have your autograph for my teenage daughter?  She says you're really big at the moment."

"I'm sorry, Harold.  I've grown, and you haven't."

"Your ad did call you a 'BBW who likes to get a little crazy,' but I imagined something different."