Contest #272 of 276, January 24, 2011

1. "I'm pregnant."

2. "I think we made a wrong turn at puberty."

3. "More legroom than I would have guessed."

Joel's:

"As long as they're living in my house, they follow my rules."

"Having designated drivers was a great idea, but next time let's make them different from the designated drinkers."

"Hey, don't litter.  It's illegal."

"I can't wait until the dog gets back from vacation.  This is the worst temp job ever."